Tag Archives: self esteem

13Jan/16

20 Ways to Raise Your Childs Self-Esteem

In this day and age of survival (for the average human being), too much time has been spent on wor​​king in order to support the family and bring some financial stability. Unfortunately for many of us, this financial stability has become profoundly difficult to a point where we barely ever have much time to spend with our children.. We are either in the office, at a meeting, on the road (in the horrid traffic) or on our phone working unpaid overtime.

This comes to a point where many of us parents tend to work so much that we never really spend enough time with our children. We are not very capable to be there for our children through the good and the bad in their lives. The very sad thing, is that many of us rely on others to do that for us; maids, our parents, day care centres , etc.. but what our children really need is for us to be there for them even for a while.. To be their cheerleader, their teacher, their friend and their confidence. There is nothing a children would want more than to know that you would rather be with them (than your phone)..

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Self-esteem isn’t really something you are born with, it is developed over time by learning how others perceive them. Children won’t really think much of themselves if negativity is always thrown at them. Praise and encouragement however enables your child to develop a sense of pride that will sustain them forever. Now, we’re not talking about ego here, we’re talking about self esteem.

Our job as a parent is to let our children know just how remarkable they are no matter what talent and ability they have.. this makes them different from others and they need to learn how to develop that..

A child who is brought up and grows up with self-esteem will have the ability to go out into the world with the confidence to try new things, accept the ‘different’ ideas of others and believe that they can do just about anything if they put their mind to it..
I mean, isn’t that what parenting is really about? Guidance.

Here’s just a few of infinite tips you could try with your children to raise their self-esteem…

1. Tell your child you love him/her at least once a day.
2. Take your child’s feelings seriously.
3. Let your child know that it’s ok to make mistakes. Then tell them about some mistakes of your own.
4. Always laugh at your child’s jokes (even when they don’t make sense)
5. Praise your child’s every little (and big) effort.
6. Encourage your child to ask questions. If you don’t know the answer, look it up together.
7. Always tell your child that can’t isn’t a real word, we always CAN if we put our mind to it.
8. Always, always talk out your disagreements. If you go mad or give her the silent treatment, you’d be sure to get the exact same when she grows up.
9. Never, ever let your child go to bed angry. Work things out, give hugs and kisses and let her know you love her.
10. Keep your child’s every secret. This develops trust between parent and child.
11. Make a feelings chart. Have your child put his picture next to his current feeling (of the day) and talk about that feeling, ask why he is feeling that way.
12. Spend a little time sitting down to draw and colour with her.
13. Teach your child to recycle. Caring for the earth is the way of the future.
14. Make blank cards for your child to decorate for birthdays, get well soon card or even a “just because” card..
15. Bake bread, or even a cake together.
16. Put together a cookbook of your childs favourite snacks and meals. Make sure you make them every once in a while too.
17. Instead of asking your child how school went, try asking her what her 3 best things she did today. You’d be surprised with the answers you get.
18. Share a banana split with each other.
19. Stay up late together, snuggle under some covers, have popcorn and watch a movie of your childs choice.
20. Splash in rain puddles together.

 

What other things would you do to help raise your childs self-esteem?

08Oct/14

14 Common Parenting Mistakes and Solutions

Parents Are Always Right……. NOT!!

 

How often do we go, “You have to do it because I said so”? Do kids always have to listen to our every command because as parents, we have the upper-hand and are always right (even when we are wrong)? Are we really parents or are we, dictators?

Usually, when things don’t go right with our children, we tend to point our fingers to everyone else except to ourselves. Teachers and carers especially, are the first to get the blame. Like how could we, the parents, have gone wrong with all the money and ‘time’ spent on our beloved, most precious gems right?

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No. We. Us. Parents have to take all the blame because at the end of the day, they are our kids, our responsibilities, OURS. Education begins at home and nowhere else (unless of course, our kids don’t stay with us under the same roof, that is a different set of lifestyle altogether).

Here is a list of the most common parenting mistakes we “inadvertently” do. And if you read deeper, you might, just might… Find the solution to our most common problems.

• If your child lies to you often, it’s because he saw you reacting harshly to their appropriate behavior.

• If your child has poor self esteem, it’s because you advise them more than you encourage them.

• If your child doesn’t stand up for himself at a young age, it’s because you have always been reprimanding (disciplining) them publicly.

• If your child takes things that don’t belong to them, it’s because you buy them many things but you do not let them choose them for themselves.

• If your child acts cowardly (timid), it’s because you come to their aid ever so quickly.

• If your child doesn’t care about other people’s feelings, it’s because you command your child more that having conversations with them.

• If your child is quick in anger, it’s because they seek your attention, which you give only when they misbehave.

• If your child is violent towards others, it’s because you are violent in in disciplining them.

• If your child is prone to jealousy, it’s because you only encourage them when they do extremely well and don’t appreciate them when they do just good.

• If your child physically disturbs you, it’s because you don’t see them enough and are always distracted.

• If your child shows defiance openly, it’s because you always show arrogance with unreasonable requests.

• If your child is secretive, it’s because you broke and betrayed their trust.

• If your child doesn’t listen to you but listens to others, it’s because you always make decisions but never stand by them (eg: empty threats & unfulfilled promises).

• If your teen rebels, it’s because you have shown them that you worry more about what others think and perceive and not what they feel.

 

 

*credit to : Sheikh Yahya Ibrahim