Tag Archives: child

13Jan/16

20 Ways to Raise Your Childs Self-Esteem

In this day and age of survival (for the average human being), too much time has been spent on wor​​king in order to support the family and bring some financial stability. Unfortunately for many of us, this financial stability has become profoundly difficult to a point where we barely ever have much time to spend with our children.. We are either in the office, at a meeting, on the road (in the horrid traffic) or on our phone working unpaid overtime.

This comes to a point where many of us parents tend to work so much that we never really spend enough time with our children. We are not very capable to be there for our children through the good and the bad in their lives. The very sad thing, is that many of us rely on others to do that for us; maids, our parents, day care centres , etc.. but what our children really need is for us to be there for them even for a while.. To be their cheerleader, their teacher, their friend and their confidence. There is nothing a children would want more than to know that you would rather be with them (than your phone)..

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Self-esteem isn’t really something you are born with, it is developed over time by learning how others perceive them. Children won’t really think much of themselves if negativity is always thrown at them. Praise and encouragement however enables your child to develop a sense of pride that will sustain them forever. Now, we’re not talking about ego here, we’re talking about self esteem.

Our job as a parent is to let our children know just how remarkable they are no matter what talent and ability they have.. this makes them different from others and they need to learn how to develop that..

A child who is brought up and grows up with self-esteem will have the ability to go out into the world with the confidence to try new things, accept the ‘different’ ideas of others and believe that they can do just about anything if they put their mind to it..
I mean, isn’t that what parenting is really about? Guidance.

Here’s just a few of infinite tips you could try with your children to raise their self-esteem…

1. Tell your child you love him/her at least once a day.
2. Take your child’s feelings seriously.
3. Let your child know that it’s ok to make mistakes. Then tell them about some mistakes of your own.
4. Always laugh at your child’s jokes (even when they don’t make sense)
5. Praise your child’s every little (and big) effort.
6. Encourage your child to ask questions. If you don’t know the answer, look it up together.
7. Always tell your child that can’t isn’t a real word, we always CAN if we put our mind to it.
8. Always, always talk out your disagreements. If you go mad or give her the silent treatment, you’d be sure to get the exact same when she grows up.
9. Never, ever let your child go to bed angry. Work things out, give hugs and kisses and let her know you love her.
10. Keep your child’s every secret. This develops trust between parent and child.
11. Make a feelings chart. Have your child put his picture next to his current feeling (of the day) and talk about that feeling, ask why he is feeling that way.
12. Spend a little time sitting down to draw and colour with her.
13. Teach your child to recycle. Caring for the earth is the way of the future.
14. Make blank cards for your child to decorate for birthdays, get well soon card or even a “just because” card..
15. Bake bread, or even a cake together.
16. Put together a cookbook of your childs favourite snacks and meals. Make sure you make them every once in a while too.
17. Instead of asking your child how school went, try asking her what her 3 best things she did today. You’d be surprised with the answers you get.
18. Share a banana split with each other.
19. Stay up late together, snuggle under some covers, have popcorn and watch a movie of your childs choice.
20. Splash in rain puddles together.

 

What other things would you do to help raise your childs self-esteem?

02Nov/14

Ameera: Full Speed Ahead!!

A year has past… YES! I KNOW! SO FAAASSSTTTT!!! Ameera had actually turned 1 on September 21st.. I had recently went onto my old blog and read about Ariana’s progress at more or less the same age and mashaAllah how different their progress is!! Ariana at this age had such a huge vocabulary, she said words like bear, bebehbebbies (teletubbies), babe, daddy, ball and she was even making the sounds of animals like lion, sheep, cat, dog and a few more.. Ameera on the other hand hasn’t got there yet. No rush though, I’m actually ok with it as all children develop differently.

ameera

The things Ameera does do however are:

words
HI
BYE
KITTY CAT
DOG
DUCK
MUMMY
DANDAD – grandad
HOT
WOW!
DIH – drink.. hehe
MAMMM –  mamam, eat
SUSSSS – when she wants milk from the breastaurant
FFFuh – fish

sounds
WEK WEK – quacking of a duck
UFF – woof
AWWWWWW – when she gives people (mainly toys, kitty and Ariana. oh! and pillows..) hugs
she smacks her lips together when she wants kisses (also mainly toys, kitty and Ariana…. LOL)
mmMMMmmm – when she sees food (pantang nampak makanan nih!!)
BBBRRRRRR – wants to go on a car ride

It’s such a pleasure to see her grow by the day. She started walking properly on her birthday, that was a gift within itself but maaaaannnnnnn the chasing!! hahahaha!!! But it’s all good and fun! She is alot more steadier now, not as wild as Ariana was at her age. Ariana, at the time, was already running about the play places without any assistance, climbing up the slides and wouldn’t even care whether or not you were there. Ameera however is cautious. She always makes sure you’re there to watch over her in case she slips. It nice really but I think she’s getting a bit too clingy that I need to do something about it. :p

ariana and ameera

The relationship between Ameera and Ariana is great, alhamdulillah. Ariana does get annoyed sometimes when Ameera comes and breaks over her lego towers and touches the ipad screen while she is watching peppa pig. But all in all, they have such loving characters. They always wanna hug and kiss each other, Ariana teaches Ameera how to colour, they hold each others hands when they walk… the loving list goes on and, by Allah, I hope that doesn’t change.

ariana and ameera love

Raising two children is tough especially when there isn’t much help but when there is, I am super thankful for it. Having the WHOLE DAY with the girls is a hard time when I need to cook 2 different consistencies, bathe two children, put two children to bed, feed one gotta feed the other,  clean up toys, clean dirty bums, change dirty clothes, laundry, dishes, folding, mopping, sweeping, eeeevvveeerrrything lah! I even bring them both to most of my meeting and events. LOL.I don’t know how people with more than two children, maidless, especially back in the day, do/did it! I really don’t!I am sooooo glad my girls sleep early and that I have some alone time at night. Then again, it’s night time and here I am.. typing.. not sleeping.. not watching tv.. playing a little bit of COC.. scratching horrible itchy  mosquito bites.. sooooooo wanting to go to sleep.. Funny thing is, I could actually sleep early if I wanted to because Ameera sleeps at 6om while Ariana sleeps at 730pm (sometimes 9pm [-_-] but she is in her room the whole time)..

Any tips on managing your time? That’s one thing I really suck at!

31Jan/14

with love, Sofia: Early sleep, enough sleep = the best sleep

Before motherhood, my sleeping pattern was inconsistant and usually bonkers. I’d sleep at about 4am and be up at 2pm, on my off days. If I were filming, I’d be up at 6am and asleep at 3am, no, not much sleep at all.

Now that I’m a mother of 2 beautiful children (mashaAllah) and a stay at home mum aka SAHM, I have at least 14 hours sleep at night and about 4-6 hours during the day. While a 1 year old requires 12 hours at night with two 2 hour naps during the day.

When I say routine, I mean all round routine including nighttime feeding.

I have been blessed with good sleepers but this could also be because I put them to sleep when they let me know when they are sleepy.
“How does a baby tell you they are sleepy?”
Simple, they yawn. Us grown ups yawn when we’re tired right? But we of course fight this tiredness because we are either too busy during the day to take a 45 minute nap or dont want to sleep early at night (because it just isn’t cool to sleep early).
They also get grumpy (“I wanna go to sleep!”) and their eyes go red (“put me to sleep already”) or they as usual, cry (“what is wrong with you? I need to sleep!!!”)
When your baby is tired and you dont want any fuss, put them to sleep when they want to sleep.

My daily routine with my first born was pretty strict because from what I have read and now experienced, a happy child is one whom has had enough sleep. Even my in laws thought I was too strict, but I promise it was is well worth it!

Keeping a routine was pretty easy but this came with alot of sacrifices too. I would have to be home at 4pm everyday (if I were out) to get the baby bathed and ready for bed.
By 5pm, lights were out (I have a street light right outside my window so there is no need for a night light) and we were in bed for a little talk and then it was susu time. She was asleep by 530pm.

In the beggining, Ariana would be up 3-4 times at night but after changing her day time routine, she would only wake up twice at night. How? Here’s a basic sample of a daily schedule I had for Ariana:

3-6 months old
630am – wake up and susu
730am – bath time – susu
8am – nap
10am – play time/social time – susu.
11am – nap
1pm – play time/social time – susu
2pm – nap
4pm – play time -mandi time – susu
530pm – sleep
930pm – susu
1230am – susu
3am – susu
630am – wake up

To avoid too many feeds at night, make sure you feed baby long enough during the 9pm feed so that you could eventually push the midnight feed to a later time allowing you more sleep at night and baby full too. Once you’ve conquered that battle, routine can look something like this….

6-12months
7am – wake up and susu
9am – bath time – susu
10am – nap
12pm – play time/social time – susu
2pm – nap
5pm – play time -mandi time – susu
530pm – sleep
930pm – susu
1am – susu
630am – wake up

To reduce the night feeding, you have to make sure you feed well during the day. If you feed so much at night, baby wont be wanting to eat during the day because he is already getting enough at night. So try switching the ‘feeding enough at night’ to being ‘feeding enough during the day’. So by the time your child is a year old, you can cut one night feed at a time starting with the 9pm feed then eventually eliminating the 1am feed. Once that is done, your childs routine will look something like this:

12 months – 2years
7am – wake up – susu – breakfast
9am – mandi – susu
10am – nap
12pm – lunch – play
2pm – nap
4pm – snack – play
530pm – dinner – mandi – susu
630pm – sleep
1am – susu
7am – wakeup

Ariana has now started play school which requires he to be in class by 930 am but I send her at 9am so that she can play with the children who arrive early (working parents) and also because the school setup a little obstacle course for them everyday. So her (She turns 3 in April) current schedule is:

7am – wake up
8am – breakfast – mandi
9am – school
1230pm – lunch
2pm – nap (sometimes)
4pm – play
6pm – dinner – mandi
7/730pm – sleep
7am – wake up

Of course it is sometimes a battle put your active toddler to bed at times, especially during nap times but they will give in soon enough because they know they are tired. Just take her to bed and layan that cute little imagination for 5 minutes and then tell her that its time to relax, close your eyes and go to sleep. It works so well, even mummy passes out by 830pm too!!

All the best and I hope this helps you.. please keep in mind that this is only from my own personal experience on putting my own children to sleep. If you have any inquiries at all, please dont hesitate to get in touch and I will help best way I can. Also, I am not a sleep therapist nor am I a doctor. I just think of ways I would try myself and if what I do or suggest doesnt work, the grab a couple of books (I would recommend Gina Ford books) and find out from an expert :p