THE MUMMY of this month is the beautiful and ever so inspiring, single, working mummy, Sasha Saidin. Juggling between being a full time mum and a part time celebrity/actress, With Love, Mummy gets close and personal to Sasha as she shares with us how she does it and how she handles it all physically, mentally and emotionally.
Tell us a little about Arya.
Adam Aryasenna Notosoemarsono was born on the 28th of August 2009 in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. A very affectionate child who has bursts of bountiful energy, he is just so full of life. He loves doing arts and crafts and can often be found to be drawing or making something out of something else. He also loves sports and currently is going for swimming classes and now that he can swim quite well, he says he would like to swim across the ocean.
How has motherhood changed your life?
When I found out that I was pregnant with Adam, it was a complete surprise as it was at a regular scheduled checkup that the doctor discovered that I was indeed pregnant which was wonderful news that I couldnt wait to tell those close to me. Immediately however I had to put a halt to my career as the doctor had given me strict instructions to take it easy and get as much rest as I could at least for the first trimester. However, I later decided to take a leave altogether from the entertainment scene to raise Adam without any domestic help, wanting to be there every step of the way to watch his developments and every single milestone.
How have you been coping with being a single mum to an active little boy?
First and foremost I have to admit that I am blessed to have a mother that is so supportive of me being a single mother and a celebrity too especially since I got divorced and had to go back to work as a working single mother. Nanna as Adam calls his grandmother is whom helps me take care of him whenever I am out working and she also does a fantastic job home schooling Adam with extra lessons and interesting arts curriculum during the school holiday seeing that she has a background of have being a school teacher of 30 years. I love coming home even on days that I am exhausted and walking through the front door to have Adam come running to me to give me lotsa hugs and kisses.
How do you balance between being an active celebrity/actress and being a mum?
My motto is ‘ Full time mum, part time celebrity’ because to me being a mum should always come first. However I am also lucky that Adam understands that Mummy needs to go out to work to earn money to pay for bills, to save up for holidays and of course the occasional toys whenever he has been on his best behaviour. There are times though when I may have to travel abroad for my work and at times I’d be away for weeks which can be very hard on us but I always make sure there is some sort of communication such as Skype so that he knows where I am and what I am doing. And of course whenever I have some free time I will choose to spend quality time with Adam playing in the park, socialising in playgroups or just going to the cinema which he loves too!
Have you even been/felt judged being a single parent?
I have been lucky in the sense that I have never been judged as a single parent or for any of the decisions that I had to make that lead me to become a single parent. And even if there was I dont think I would let it bother me too much as I am blessed with such supportive family members as well as good friends who are with me very step of the way. If anything, since I have been a single parent and the sole breadwinner for my child and me, I have had tremendous positive reinforcement even from strangers who wish to know how they can help me in any way they can. This has touched me many times and its always nice to know that such acts of kindness is what motivates many other single parents out there to try and juggle many responsibilities in raising a child or children on their own.
What is the hardest part about being a single mum?
The hardest part most of the time for me would be when I have to leave for work and Adam gets upset and insists that I work from home or take him with me to work. Although I know I am leaving him in the capable hands of his Nanna, but that feeling of temporary separation never gets easier.
What is the best part?
The best part is just cuddling with Adam after a long day reading him a bedtime story and having him fall asleep in my arms.
Whats a typical day like for you?
A typical day would be getting Adam prepared for school and dropping him off just like any other parent does but depending on what my work schedule is like I may have to delegate his Nanna to pick him up from school. Most of the time, with whatever errands I have Adam happily accompanies me and but I also try to keep to a set time of not getting him back too late as we have strict rules on bed times especially on school nights.
What is your most favourite thing to do with Arya?
My favourite thing to do with Adam is go to the movies with him whereby we usually take the train which he absolutely loves to go to the cinema within the mall. We’d get our hotdogs and popcorn, excitedly wait for the movie to start and usually halfway Adam will climb on top of me and sit on my lap to cuddle with me whilst watching the movie.
What would be the most important advice you could give to a single mum?
I don’t know if I could call it advice as I am still learning as a single mum myself and I still make minor mistakes along the way whereby I learn what to not repeat again in the future therefore I guess I would say don’t be too hard on yourself whenever you might slip up with your child as its certainly not an easy task to play so many roles all at the same time when bringing up a child. We will have good days and bad days and its the support from loved ones around us that matters the most, so don’t ever be shy or embarrassed to reach out or receive help from those that maybe concerned or simply just care for us.
photo credits: Sasha Saidin