I am 10 days late and scheduled for an induction at midnight. My mum and I head to the grocers to get some munchy food for when Hubs and I are in the hospital. While we were there, hubs would call me every 5 minutes asking where we were, “are you coming home yet? Let me know when you’re on the way back”. He was more excited than I was. For me, it was more nerves than anything, not knowing what to expect, I didn’t want an induction in the first place.
Upon admission, I was examined to find that my cervix was still high up and 1cm dilated. Dilation was good news to us because our doctor had told us that I would need a c-section if my cervix wouldn’t respond to labour. I was depressed and emotionally disturbed with that news. I cried for days and apologized to Hubs and to my baby for not being able to birth the way I had always imagined. So when I heard the nurse say I was dilated, my face lit up and I knew there was hope.
The nurse then inserted the tablet into my cervix and induction had begun. I was told to rest for I would need all my energy for birth in the morning. How in God’s name was I going to be able to sleep knowing that my baby was going to be in my arms in less than 24 hours! So Hubs and I starting playing cards, went online, then I gave up and went to bed when suddenly, “knock knock knock”, the nurse came in to examine me. Looking at the clock, it was 6am. The nurse told me that there were no changes and that I had to wait for my doctor to see me at 7am. I asked if I was able to have a second tablet inserted, the nurse said that the doctor would rather talk to us. My high hopes slammed onto the ground, I then knew I wasn’t going to have a vaginal birth.
With no sleep and an unsteady mind, Hubs and I were sent into the labour room. I was asked to change into a hospital robe, although stated in my birth plan that I’d rather be in my own clothes, I changed anyway. Saddened about not having a vaginal birth and afraid of going under the knife, I tried to stay as strong as I possibly could. Hubs tried to calm me down but his patience isn’t the greatest. He then began to get agitated and upset with me for being upset.
After nervously waiting 45 minutes in the labour room, our doctor had finally come in. He had decided to put me on pitocin since the tablet didn’t do any justice. No matter how natural I wanted my birth to be, I went ahead with the drip. (better than c-sect any day)
It was 10am when my parents had arrived and they were allowed into the labour room to visit. By 11am, surges were 7 minutes apart. I didn’t feel much (at the time), I could still move around but being hooked onto the IV and bound to the bed, I wasn’t allowed to walk about the hall way or anything because they were afraid I might pass out, so the only place I could walk to was the toilet. Sigh.
At least I had twitter! 🙂 In between surges, I’d update followers on what’s going on.
By 12pm surges were 4 minutes apart. The nurse examined me and Doctor then came in to let us know of the progress was happy to inform us that I was 3cm dilated. I knew I was going to have my vaginal birth for sure, Alhamdulillah.
After a while, I could really feel the sensations right down my spine, around my pelvis and my tummy. Nurse said that the pain would only get worse. I didn’t like that fact that she said “pain” when in our birth plan we specifically requested to stay away from negative adjectives eg. Pain-sensation, contraction-surge. But knowing that the surges were going to get stronger made me nervous but i said “Bring it on!”
The surges really did grow stronger. I wanted to take a shower but they didn’t let me because they were afraid I might pass out. Everyone was in and out of my room. My mother in-law couldn’t handle seeing me in pain therefore she went upstairs to pray. I don’t know what had happened to my dad, honestly, I don’t remember. My mum was toweling me down (which was AWESOME) and hubs was by my side “trying” to video tape everything. As an excuse, the nurse offered to move me into a bigger room so I could roll around on my gym ball. (I brought my gym ball hoping I could use it for birth but it didn’t seem right when I used it) But really they offered the room because there were just too many people in the labour room; hubs, my mum, his mum, my dad, nurses and my Doctor. How did we manage to have everyone there?? I have no bleeding idea but it was awesome! 🙂
At 3pm I started to really feel the sensations… Oh bugger it, the pain! Each surge just came in stronger and stronger. In between surges, I told the nurse that I feel the urge to push, not like a major push, just a “kentut” kind of push. She came in and examined me even when I said it wasn’t necessary. Anyway, she checked and said that I hadn’t dilated wide enough but she could feel it coming, “just a while more” she said. 15 minutes had gone by after the feeling to “kentut” and I really did try to kentut, NOTHING! The feeling stayed but no wind let off. When suddenly, I felt the urge to push and I mean PUSH. I tell hubs that baby is coming, nurse rushes in, she tells me to wait because doctor is busy. WAIT!???! I NEED TO PUSH LAA!! Ehemm excuse me, hypnobirthing language, I need to breathe down!!! *exhale*
The sensations were excruciating. As the nurse was prepping the sterile equipment, she also helped me time my breathing. Breathe iinnnnnnn aaaaaannndddd ooooouuuutttttt… Takde maknanya heee heee huuu huuu heee hee huuu huuuu like on TV. I told the nurse that I really felt like pushing. Hubs held my hand and said “don’t push yet sayang, the nurse said to wait for the doctor to come”. (Now, in class we learned that if we don’t welcome baby when baby what’s to come out on its own, we may face problems) I wish I could’ve slapped him behind his head but instead I said, “Shut up! I need to push!” Takde maknanya “this is your fault” and whatever. Haha!
Anyway, I didn’t wait. The surges were becoming unbearable. My mum was still toweling me with a cold towel. I told her that I was contemplating on having the epidural. She looked at me saying that it was too late. Suddenly, everything was a commotion. Our doctor had arrived, they modified the bed bringing it into the birthing position. I could feel my daughter coming through my birth path each time I felt a surge. NOW I felt the “berak” urge! I tried as hard as I could to BREATHE the baby down. It’s not easy you know when you have a whole room cheering you to PUSH like bloody cheerleaders. “1.. 2.. Push…” I breathed through my surges. It was a big one, doctor told me that her head was coming out; hubs could see her hair, push.. push.. push.. I could see a reflection! I stopped pushing. I asked the nurse to adjust the TV for I could see the reflection of everything going on. Right a bit… Left a bit… Yeah! I could see my baby’s hair! It was so exciting! I was told to start pushing again. Problem was, I didn’t feel like pushing. After that distraction, I thought I had lost the surges. I actually got kind of nervous. Until….. Oooowwwwweeeeeee….. Brrreeeeaaaattttthhhhhhhhhhhhheeee… Puussshhhh.. Plop. There was her head, propped out up to her shoulders while the rest of her body was still embedded inside me. It was an amazing sight. By then, the pain is meaningless, you just don’t feel it. To be honest, the surges are more painful than the baby’s head actually passing through the vaginal walls. “Last push”, doctor said. This time, with all my might, heeeeaaavvveeeeee!! The rest of my darling angel’s body came out.
With no rubbing off the vernix, no pumping out the goo from her mouth and nose, she was handed to me immediately and she was perfect. I couldn’t believe it. I had given birth; a little baby had actually come out from inside of me.
In my birth plan, I had requested that my cord stop pulsating before it gets cut but because we were keeping the baby’s cord blood (with Cryocord), it was recommended the cord still pulsate. Doctor had given me the cord to feel so I can give them the green light but with my baby girl in my arms, all that just wasn’t in consideration anymore. So I said, “Just do it” and snip, my hubs cut the cord. With my little angle in my arms, sneezing out all the goo stuffed in her nose, I couldn’t be happier. Alhamdulillah.
While I was trying to get my baby to latch on and feed, the doctor was receiving stitching me up after the delivery of my placenta. I didn’t have an episiotomy for I didn’t want one, if anything was going to happen, I’d rather tear naturally and that is what happened. He informed me that he was going to inject me with some numbing stuff, I was more nervous about the pain from the needle than I was with the birth of my child.
As soon as my daughter had arrived, so did my brother. He came in the labour room to see the baby just before he head to the airport and catch his flight back to Sabah. It was great to have my family around during one of the most important times of my life. Having so much love around was the best!
After cleaning up and an hour of skin to skin contact, my mother in-law, hubs and baby head out to give the baby her first bath. Hubs had just come back from Mecca so he had a tub of air zam zam to use and bathe her with. I on the other hand was taken up to my room to rest. After all that had happened, I was exhausted! But I couldn’t sleep.
Hubs came up into the room WITHOUT the baby. I wanted to know where she was, why she wasn’t with him. “Relax, she’s on her way” he said. And there she was, all wrapped up sleeping in her little plastic cot. I couldn’t ask for anything more. SubahanAllah. Alhamdulillah.
Once I saw my little angels face, I fell into a much needed sleep, which ended up being only a couple of hours. I woke up hearing voices coming from the room next door (the room we had had a family/waiting/makan area so tak kacau the patient laaa). So I got up to see who was there. Friends of mine and hubs had arrived with their kids.. Followed by a few more friends crashing in..
Was nice to have friends over but I was just so tired but you gotta host innit! 🙂 I didn’t mind at all…
After all that stories and laughter, everyone had left. I got back into be ready to pass out when “knock knock knock”, my looney gang had arrived.. “Aiiiiiyyoooooooo…..”,
“I’m never gonna get any shut eye!”
Talk talk, laugh laugh, ooouuuccchhhh, they could not believe I was actually a mother. I can’t believe I’m a mother!!!!
It’s just so unreal! We were just getting the hang of being married and now we’re parents, PARENTS!! Btw, between my close buds, I was the first to get married now the first to have a baby… C’mon you guys!!!!! (some are still single btw) ehehehe…
Well, I have all that I could ever want, an amazing husband, a healthy beautiful baby, and a blessed family.. What more can I ask for when I already have everything?? I thank Allah for all he has bestowed upon me.. Amiin..
Sharifah Ariana was born on the 4/4/11 at 4pm weighing 3.38kg
Now, she is 3 months old.